Empty Eyes

Have you ever thought to yourself: What do I live for? or What matters most to me?

It has been over 15 months since I have been here in North Carolina. I can hardly believe it. Over the past 15 months I have been able to see many people with many different desires. It interests me to be able to sit down with all of these people and get to know what they look forward to in this life. As you might imagine, these desires range from working on cars, to supporting a family, to tending a garden. I love being able to see what matters most to people.

I will not soon forget one of these wonderful people I have sat down with. The man I am referring to was the husband of one of my favorite investigators. His name was Al. They lived in a cozy, brick home in a quaint town. It seemed like every time we would show up, without fail, Al would be out front with his walker gardening out front. Needless to say, his garden was beautifully kept. Al would always sit in on lessons and nod his head and give input every once in a while. After 5 months of getting to know this friendly couple we began to see their desires and what they look forward to in life. We soon found that Al is one of those men that loves getting things done and being able to work with his hands, especially in his garden. In a lot of ways, he reminded me of my grandfather. Like my grandpa, as Al got older and older he felt like he wasn't able to do the things that he used to. His health continued to decline as we visited the couple. He had a few falls and a few trips to the hospital. His wife worried about him quite often.

On a visit in the last little bit I was there, my heart broke for Al. Each visit he seemed to be less and less engaged and subsequently more and more distant. Finally, one night he completely broke down. This man that used to have so much purpose now was completely distraught. As tears rolled from his eyes he told stories of the time when he grew up on a farm in Maine. He would ride horses, till the soil, plant seeds, and reap from the harvest. He reminisced on the things he had achieved in this life and reflected on how absolutely incapable he felt now. He was devastated that he couldn't even uphold a garden now. He had what I have come to know as "empty eyes." Empty eyes the result of hitting rock bottom and feeling as though there is nothing left. As I looked into Al's empty eyes, I saw a piece of my grandpa in him. 

I will promise anyone on earth the same thing that we promised Al that night. There is more to life than this. When it is all said and done things like working on cars, supporting a family, or tending a garden are great things to do in this life to gain experience but ultimately we don't take cars, money, or our garden with us. I know that when we leave from this life we have the ability to be with our family again, to return with God, and ultimately experience joy that we cannot comprehend. Let us all take some time to evaluate what matters most to us. Focus on those things that matter most. Reach out to a friend, bond with your family, and achieve worthy goals. I know that the happiness that comes from those things is the happiness that will last into the life to come.

The Future is Bright

The other day I was pondering on the fact that our loving God would let some of his children go through trials, even devastating trials at times. The hardest thing I have seen on my mission is when innocent, kind people are hurt. I realize, the unenviable pattern of life is that everyone on earth will have ups and downs. Just looking at life logically, it is impossible to have all our days be better than average. Some days will be fantastic and others will be heart-breaking. But if God is really there, and God really loves us, why?

In the Bible, 5th chapter of Mathew it says

          "That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."

An instant parallel that opened up to my mind as I read that verse is like any Father and Child (or Mother and child) relationship. If the child always got what he wanted, if they are anything like me, life would consist of ice-cream for every meal, late nights, no homework, sleeping in, and simply living in the moment. That would be absolutely fantastic for the first day or two but it would slowly begin to become detrimental on the children. Likewise, more often than not, experiences teach us vital life lessons and skills. Our Father in Heaven allows these trials come upon us so that we might come out stronger.

I know what it is like to feel sad, inadequate, or discouraged. We all do. But as we look up to the future ahead and have faith, one day it will all be well. I love the quote from Thomas S. Monson at the top. "Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith."

Did You See

Last week, on August 20, my grandfather passed away at age 92. He was a WWII veteran, hard worker, role model, organ player, and last but not least an amazing grandpa. He leaves a legacy of 8 children, 35 grandchildren, and 75 great-grandchildren. His funeral is tomorrow and I will not be able to attend but I wanted to show my respect. This is the poem for my grandpa, the least I could do.

Did You See

Did you see that little brown eyes
watched you while you lived your days?
They saw the light in your eyes
and looked up to all your ways.

Did you see that little brown eyes
observed you as you'd pull out Grandma's chair?
From what they saw Grandma was a queen
and she was always treated fair.

Did you see that little brown eyes
lit up when you'd let us climb on your back?
Mom would beg us to stop before
you'd have a heart-attack.

Did you see those little brown eyes
search for coins that fell in your favorite seat?
Unaware that the night before
You'd place them there for me.

Did you see those little brown eyes
squint in laughter as you'd draw on my hand?
A picture of a a kitty cat
would tickle more than I could stand.

Did you see those little brown eyes
watch intently as you told stories of before?
They imagined all the places you've been
and envisioned you a hero of war.

Now, did you know those little brown eyes
blinked and you were gone?
Clueless of what they should do
because you've been here all along.

Did you know those little brown eyes
are now filled with tears?
They miss seeing the Grandpa
they loved through all the years.

Do you see these little brown eyes
looking to heaven above?
Praying for comfort and peace,
pleading for God's love.

Did you know these little brown eyes
look now to the future ahead?
They belong to a young man now
who remembers your example, the things that you said.

I can make you proud, I promise.
Keep watching and you'll see.
By following your example
you're still alive through me.

I will share the wonderful news
until the very end.
That because of Him, these little brown eyes
will see your face again.

Because of Him 

death has no sting 

the grave has no victory

What Are You Thinking

A few months ago in the North Carolina Raleigh Mission, we were blessed to hear from Elder W. Craig Zwick. Last General Conference we were able to hear from him again in a talk titled What Are You Thinking?. The story he told about his young family helps illuminate our knowledge on forgiveness and understanding.

Forty-one years ago I climbed into the driver’s seat of an 18-wheel semitruck with my beautiful wife, Jan, and our infant son, Scotty. We were taking a heavy load of construction materials across several states. In those days there were no seat-belt restrictions or infant car seats. My wife held our precious son in her arms. Her comment “We sure are high off the ground” should have given me a clue about her feelings of apprehension.
As we made our descent over historic Donner Pass, a steep section of highway, the cab of the semi suddenly and unexpectedly filled with thick smoke. It was difficult to see, and we could hardly breathe.
With a heavy rig, brakes alone are not enough to rapidly decrease speed. Using the engine brakes and gearing down, I frantically attempted to stop.
Just as I was pulling to the side of the road, but before we had come to a full stop, my wife opened the door of the cab and jumped out with our baby in her arms. I watched helplessly as they tumbled in the dirt.
As soon as I had the semi stopped, I bolted from the smoking cab. With adrenaline pumping, I ran through the rocks and weeds and held them in my arms. Jan’s forearms and elbows were battered and bleeding, but thankfully she and our son were both breathing. I just held them close as the dust settled there on the side of the highway.
As my heartbeat normalized and I caught my breath, I blurted out, “What in the world were you thinking? Do you know how dangerous that was? You could have been killed!”
She looked back at me, with tears running down her smoke-smudged cheeks, and said something that pierced my heart and still rings in my ears: “I was just trying to save our son.”
I realized in that moment she thought the engine was on fire, fearing the truck would explode and we would die. I, however, knew it was an electrical failure—hazardous but not fatal. I looked at my precious wife, softly rubbing the head of our infant son, and wondered what kind of woman would do something so courageous.
This situation could have been as emotionally hazardous as our literal engine failure. Gratefully, after enduring the silent treatment for a reasonable amount of time, each of us believing the other person was at fault, we finally expressed the emotions that were churning beneath our heated outbursts. Shared feelings of love and fear for the other’s safety kept the hazardous incident from proving fatal to our cherished marriage.

How often in our lives do we find ourselves in arguments fueled by misunderstanding? With hundreds and hundreds of different cultures all around the world it is easy to see why there is so much contention. We read from the writings of Paul "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." If we all make a conscious effort to understand where one another is coming from, imagine where the world would be.

New Teacher

The experiences I have had thus far on my mission truly humble me.

This week I would like to talk about Daniel, one of the Haitian investigators Elder Gardner and I get to work with. Daniel lives at the end of a dead end street here in Lumberton, NC. On any given trip down Daniel's street chances are you would see many more Haitian refugees outside their homes talking and laughing. Daniel stands at roughly 6 foot 4 inches I would guess and always wears a smile ear to ear. The rest of his family still lives back in Haiti but he hopes to have them with him soon.

This past week two areas in Lumberton were consolidated leaving me with many investigators that other missionaries had been working with, most of which are Haitian. This process of meeting these new people is a normal thing in missionary work and usually comes with quite a bit of work. The tendency is that most investigators take some time to get used to the new missionary and their might even be some apprehension at first. To my surprise this was not the case at all with Daniel and many others.

It was my first day working with Elder Gardner and I was nervous because I hadn't learned much Creole yet. We drove down Daniel's street and pulled up to his house. Moments after we knocked on his door it swung open, he looked at me with his big smile and said, "NEW TEACHER!" He invited us in and smiled as he listened to the message we shared that day. Daniel showed so much love for me.

From house to house the love of these humble people has been the same. Though their earthly possessions are few, it always seems like they are trying to give you everything they have. I have never seen a happier group of people in my life. I am excited for the many more adventures to come!

10,000 Feet Up

On my mission I am constantly reminded that, sometimes, things aren't always easy. At times our path we must walk is so difficult that we feel like we can not even take another step forward. During these struggles in life, I can't help but to think of one of the most terrifying yet humbling experiences of my life.

In August of 2011 my friends, including my older brother Curtis, and I packed up and prepared for a backpacking trip. We mapped out our destination to the Sawtooth mountain range in Idaho with our youth group leaders.

When we arrived we were blown away by the beautiful mountains that we would be spending almost a week in. Little did we know what was ahead of us. Our first day of the hike we primarily went through desolate stretches of sagebrush in 85 degree weather. It was one of the hottest days of the year for that mountain range. We climbed up in elevation as we marched the first 9 miles that day. Our 50 lb packs felt heavier and heavier as the trek moved on. Toward the end of the hike we entered into the shade of towering evergreens. It hit me then that there was absolutely no sign of life or civilization for miles around, not even cabins or dirt roads, just the trail and the rustic Sawtooth mountains. We followed the trail until we finally made it to a crystal clear blue lake of glacier run off. My best friend, Nick, dropped his pack immediately and laid on top of a boulder as if it was a king size mattress. I knew he was acting strange but it wasn't until later that we realized he probably had high-altitude sickness.

The next few days weren't near as bad. We were blessed with the majestic scenery. I won't ever forget what it felt like sitting on top of an ice cold glacier on an 80 degree day, it was really bizarre that the ice there had remained frozen for hundreds of years. Our trail must have passed by a dozen of these crystal clear glacier lakes each one with its own name to describe it. We passed Hatchet Lake, Noisy Lake, Quiet Lake, and Boulder Lake just to name a few.

On the second to last day on the trail we hit our trial, it was a mountain pass called the Windy Devil. I stood in the midst of 14-18 year old young men looking up at the perilous mountain. If the steepness and the height of the mountain wasn't enough to scare us, there was a point where which we were to cross over a glacier. One wrong step and we would have slid down the icy slope into the jagged rocks at the bottom. I like to imagine that all of us there was as nervous as I was, but none of us was ever going to admit we were scared. We just all looked up at the peak that reached into the sky at over 10,000 feet elevation. We climbed the mountain sometimes with all fours on the rock face. Our heavy packs on our backs made the climb that much harder. It felt as if my pack was trying to pull me off the mountain. When we hit the ice we would kick foot-holes into it and very cautiously take it one step at a time making sure that our footholds would, in fact hold. After what seemed like an hour, we made it to the top. 

Our vision now could see over the chain of crystal clear lakes. The sight was just that much better from the top of the mountain. The hike was dangerous and hard, but definitely worth it.

At times on my mission I reflect on what I learned that week in the Sawtooth mountain range. Sometimes my companion and I (or our friends that we visit) feel as if we have our weights on our back holding us back. Sometimes we can only take things one step at a time, and we might even be crawling on our hands and feet. The most important thing I learned is that  will always be worth it in the end as long as we keep moving.

Because of Him

North Carolina is absolutely beautiful in the spring time. Flowers of just about every color appear on the trees and greenery around us. I cannot think of a better and more beautiful time to celebrate Easter. The life around us begins to spring up again after a dark and dreary winter.

The video above, titled Because of Him, tells the story of how Christ conquered death that we might all have a brighter hope and in turn a brighter future. The potential that we all have remains endless because of Him. I know that the capabilities and accomplishments of mankind are great and marvelous, but Christ's resurrection is even greater and more marvelous.

My question to all of you readers out there is: How has your life changed Because of Him?
Please leave your comments below

Mysterious Ways

This week I was taught the lesson that the Lord works in mysterious ways. My companion, Elder Firmage, and I had another miracle moment. The missionary work here in Lumberton has been going fantastic lately but we have had a lot of appointments fall through last minute. That was the same story as always last Tuesday. We were excited to go back and meet with an amazing family that we had been talking to with a member of our ward. We got an oh so familiar phone call that our meet would be cancelled. Our ride picked us up later that day. So instead of visiting the family we had planned on, we decided to go talk to a lady named Deborah that a friend of ours told us we should go visit.

After knocking on the door a lady in her 40's dressed in scrubs answered the door. We asked her if she was the Deborah we were looking for. She then told us that her name was Robin and that Deborah was inside on the chair but that she was Debora's care taker. Just like at the beginning of any lesson, we began with a word of prayer. We began speaking to Deborah asking about her faith and how it has helped her. She, being an older lady, answered our questions politely and simply but didn't really seem to be getting a whole lot out of the words we were saying. Soon, the spirit directed my companion and I to the other side of the room. There sat Robin the caretaker, listening intently to the conversation. After asking one question that was directed to her she just completely opened up. She told us of many struggles that she has been going through and that she knows that God is exactly what she needs right now in her life. With tears in her eyes, her words obviously indicated that she was feeling the spirit.

It intrigues me how often instances like that happen on my mission. Here was Elder Firmage and I expecting to teach a family, plans changed to seeing Deborah, then lastly the Lord put Robin, her caretaker, into our path. There is no doubt in my mind that it was not a mistake. A lot of miracles in this life come from unexpected instances.

Guidance from God

At one point or another, I think we all could agree, questions arise in life where the answers aren't readily available. With modern technology it is ridiculously easy to access seemingly limitless amounts of information. Regardless of this ability we have to get information, many personal questions seem to go unanswered. What can I do to help my family? Does God exist? How can I balance work and family? What is my potential? What is the next big step in my life? Ect.

This weekend we have the amazing opportunity to listen to the Prophet and Apostles speak directly to us at what is called General Conference. The talks broadcast all over the world and are listened to in 197 countries and translated into 94 different languages. There truly are topics that will answer life's questions for us. 

My challenge to everyone reading this is to come up with a question that has been on your mind lately and pray for guidance. Next, watch general conference. I know that God answers our prayers and guide us in our life  (click on the link to see my post Free at Last, where a close friend received guidance during trials in his life during last general conference). Let me know how it goes, I would love to hear your story!

Watch it on Saturday and Sunday at conference.lds.org.

Boot Camp

This morning I was thinking of one of the more embarrassing parts of my mission and some of the lessons I have learned from it. Please allow me to embarrass myself and hopefully help display the moral of the story.

The story begins back in my last area in Wake Forest when autumn was in full swing. North Carolina's trees were turning all sorts of vibrant colors and the weather was pleasant. That day, one of our friends my companion and I were teaching was talking to us after a lesson. We sat in a small circle of chairs in a gym that he owns with medicine balls and weights scattered around the room. The man then invited us to come to one of his boot camp classes in a week or so to see what it was like. My companion and I were excited and quickly said yes. Our friend then said, "Okay" with a smirk that said "You two have no idea what you are getting yourselves into, do you?"

The week leading up to our boot camp was filled with little to no preparation. Back home I played sports with my friends and was on the swim team. Needless to say, I consider myself decently fit. My companion and I ate what we wanted and did what we wanted. We went on with normal missionary activities for the week and continued to do half-hearted morning exercise routines. Finally, the morning of the workout, I did probably the worst thing I could have done; I skipped breakfast, thinking nothing of it. 

During the drive to the gym, my companion and I talked and laughed about how little we prepared. When we walked into the room we see the instructor and probably 10 or so women ranging in age from late 20's to late 60's. I distinctly remember thinking to myself, "if they can do it, I can do it." Boy, was I wrong. The work out started out great! I remember doing the routines that were prescribed with ease. I felt great and rotated through each station following the exerciser in front of me. We got through the majority of the exercises and things were still going extremely well. Then we got to the sled. The sled was a metal framed box with skis on it plus the desired amount of weights on it. I got low to the ground and pushed the sled back and forth across the gym time after time to see how many times I could get it across before time was out. I don't remember exactly how many times I pushed it but when I stood up I felt all the blood rush out of my head. I still pushed forward to the next station and attempted to do the next exercise because the boot camp was almost finished anyways. I felt absolutely awful. The instructor looked at my face turning more ghostly white by the second and asked if I was feeling okay. Next thing I know, I was taken to the side away from everything and sat there drinking some cold water. I was not prepared. 

Despite the embarrassment of having to quit in front of my companion and a bunch of middle-aged women, we are able to draw a few lessons from my unfortunate story. If I only would have prepared a little more. Whether or not the events in or future are physical, emotional, or spiritual, we must prepare. Feeding our spirits by going to church, praying, or reading the scriptures is the key. The act of preparation never really ever makes the event, in this case boot camp, any easier of a task. Rather, it gives us the strength to endure. Trials will come in each of our lives and it is up to us if we will be ready or not. It is my prayer that we will be ready and not have to sit this one out.

Little Elephant

About a month ago my mom sent me a Valentine's Day package. In it there was a little elephant that bobs his ears and trunk up and down whenever the sun hits the panel on his back. For the past few weeks the elephant has lived on the dash of our car soaking in the sun, bobbing up and down, as happy as can be. 

Days went by and I barely even noticed it anymore. The sun has hid behind the clouds for quite a few days here in North Carolina. Missionary work continued to be hard as it tends to be and plans kept following through. The dreary scene soon began to get me a little down. I began wondering why the past few days hadn't turned out how I initially had hoped.

My companion, Elder Firmage and I were sitting in the car when we noticed a little reminder that all is well. Despite it being dark and rainy out side, the little elephant in the dash of our car continued to bob his little ears. It is always the little things that teach us the most isn't it? Whatever light was shinning through the clouds at that moment might not have been much, but it was enough. Life is hard and, from time to time, it's hard to be happy. It reminds me of an encouraging quote from Elder Holland "Don’t give up. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead . . . You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

I know that there is always good things to come.

Black Out

Not too long ago, in a tornado warning, I had a realization that changed my outlook on our world we live in today.

Like I have mentioned a time or two before, I was born and raised in Idaho. With that being said, I have never really been exposed to severe weather (like here in North Carolina). About a month or so ago, my companion and I were in the library on the computers on Facebook. Others were on the computers around us doing anything from looking up the next viral video to playing a game on their computer. It was a typical scene at the library. What happened next is what made me take a step back.

The library was silent (as they tend to be) except for the hum of the heating vents and the occasional mouse clicks. Outside the clouds started to overshadow the library but nobody, myself included, cared to notice. All of the sudden, after the lights flickered for a few moments, the hum of the heater and occasional mouse clicks stopped simultaneously. The room was now in darkness except for the little light that shined through the windows. The librarian informed us we were now in a tornado warning. I won't ever forget the faces of those around me in that exact second after the black out. Some emotions they wore were confusion, sadness, and some of them even anger. If I could sum the feeling that they all might have had in one word, it is emptiness. Granted, many of them a few moments later were just fine but their initial reaction to their screens turning black alarmed me.

Are we really that sucked into our own little worlds? Are we really that reliant on our devices that we use?

In the story none of us in the library had any clue that we were going to be in the possible danger of a tornado in the next few minutes. I think many of us are lost to some extent, looking for something that satisfies us. 

I realized then that there are many things in missionary work that I have noticed that are similar to the story. People are out there who are lost in their lives. They might seem content on the outside but there is something missing on the inside. Looking for those things that will fill the hole in their heart temporarily. There is nothing more in the world that I want than to help others find true happiness, mostly because I know what it feels like to be lost. I also know what it feels like to be loved and guided as well. I love being a missionary and am grateful for the many opportunities we have to serve and love our friends around us

Walks of Life

In this wonderful world that we live in, it is easy to see the differences between each and every one of us that call Earth home. Diversity is found on a broad scale whether it be diversity in culture, religion, nationality, or race. Although we all differ in many instances, I would like to suggest that we all have a major commonality and that is that we all have faith.

Now, before you challenge that statement, hear me out. On my mission, I have had the wonderful chance to meet people from all over the world with all different walks of life. With that, I have been able to talk to people of many different religious backgrounds. Some of these include Muslims, Non-denominational Christians, atheists, baptists,  agnostics and yes a few Mormons too! The amazing thing is that each of them has faith in something no mater what it may be. A scholar has faith in his research, just as a Christian has faith in Christ. A scientist has faith in his theories, just as an agnostic has a faith in a greater power. In the book of Hebrews we learn from the words, "now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." If you ask me, there are many things we hope for. 

Many of us hope for a better world. We might hope for a bright future for our family or children. In fact, little tasks like setting an alarm for the next day exercises faith. We hope that we will see another day, so we might set that alarm and even make plans for the next day, even though the next day is never a guarantee. In a very real sense then, faith is what fuels us.

Faith is the light that allows us to see. The exact opposite of the darkness that comes from fear. Real growth comes from an increase of our faith. In the wise words of President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The perfect place to begin is exactly where you are right now. It doesn't matter how unqualified you may think you are or how far behind others you may feel . . . The darkness may not dissipate all at once, but as surely as night always gives way to dawn, the light will come."

I know that we all have faith and as we exercise faith, God will bless us. Faith is the first stepping stone on the path to happiness, no matter what walk of life we come from. I know this because in the times that I let my fears conquer my faith I have always fallen. There is a brighter future and I know that as President Uchtdorf said, "the light will come."

It's Contagious

On a mission, there are plenty of activities that we do with our time. Last week after a snowstorm that hit North Carolina, we got to add one more activity to the list: SNOW SHOVELING! 

Although we don't watch the news, last Tuesday we heard through the grape vines that a huge snow storm was coming. Elder Holt and I decided to make the best of this by making it into a service opportunity. After a quick phone call we were able to locate one snow shovel and one square-nosed shovel (apparently that is quite a feat here in NC because nobody owns a snow shovel). The next day we were up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready for a day in the snow. We weren't sure where to start but we felt prompted to go to a neighborhood of a member in our ward.

After slipping and sliding all over the country roads we made it to our destination. We saw our first target, a man wearing a New York Giants beanie shoveling his drive way. We hopped out of the car and grabbed a few shovels to help him finish the job. He was genuinely surprised that we helped him out. He offered us money but we told him we weren't allowed to take it. We asked him who he knew in the neighborhood that might be elderly that we could go to next. His face lit up as he referred us to the house down the road of a man who had a back surgery. Later, when we were shoveling the elderly man's walk the man in the beanie seamed to appear from nowhere to help us serve his neighbor. Something is contagious about service. Once again the man in the beanie's face lit up.

The rest of our morning was spent bouncing from house to house shoveling driveways and asking the homeowner who we could visit next. All of them with similar responses to the first, first offering us money or a drink then sharing with us a friend who might be in need of help. One of my favorite comments came from a man who said, "Wow, I hope they have Mormons in Georgia! They got hit a lot harder than us." At the last house we were shoveling a white haired lady came outside. She told us how thankful she was because her husband was in a scooter and couldn't do it himself. Then we told her that we had to go for a meeting but we promised we would be back. She thanked us again and we left.

To my amazement, when we came back after the meeting she had two bags on the doorstep waiting for us. They were filled with some clothes that she wanted to donate to some people who might need clothes. Once again we learned that service is contagious.

God loves us. There is a certain happiness that comes from reaching out to somebody and doing something for them. We live in a world where it becomes easy to focus on ourselves but as we reach out for others we will see what really matters in this life.

Missionary Life in a Nutshell

Obedience is the price

Faith is the power

Love is the motive

The Spirit is the key

Christ is the reason

Abide With Me

You never know who is watching you and the effect that you might have on them.

Mountains of Life

 As I look back at the all the amazing experiences I have been blessed with the past 6 months on my mission, one in particular comes to mind. It all came from one night after a dinner with a family from the local ward (a ward is a congregation in the church). As we finished up dinner we were asked by the family's father if we wouldn't mind stopping by a man who was going through a sudden illness that was taking over his life. Of course, we told him we didn't mind so we were on our way! After knocking on the door we heard a voice tell us to come in. We pushed open the door and walked in. The man told us to sit down. His eyes were weary and his body would shake occasionally. The man was visibly ill. Though he struggled to even stand, when we talked to him he would crack a few jokes and we would all laugh together. Although we were there to offer our service and make sure he was okay, I felt like we came out of the visit more edified and strengthened then he (it's funny how often that happens as a missionary). He told us how going through a hard time is like climbing a big mountain. Your vision might not allow you to see very far and you might be very tired from the length you have already traveled. Here are a few of the profound words he said regarding trials:

"It may be steep... and it is!
It may be long... and it is!
But there is a top to the mountain!"

There is always a top to the mountain. We all struggle with our own set of trials no matter how big or small. Let's get real for a second, the things that might not matter for others around us might be the biggest mountain we have. Whatever it may be, though, keep going and keep climbing. There is a top to the mountain.

 I hope that those words retain at least a fraction of the power that they carried the first time they were told to my companion and I. 

The Man Behind the Cash Register

The story this week is an undeniable miracle that happened to my companion and I. Due to a few unexpected expenses, my companion has been a little tight on money this past month. Along with grocery money, he had set aside money for a camera at Walmart he has been looking at. We also had to make an unexpected trip to the bike shop to fix his bike. After going to the bike shop and finding out that repairs would cost $60, he knew he would have to dip into the camera fund and that he might not be able to get it.

Trying to salvage any good cheer at all, we decided to go to Five Guys (they are few and far between out here and one happened to be in Raleigh by the bike shop). Walking in I immediately caught the eye of the man behind the cash register. You see, it is easy to tell in one's eyes if they are familiar with missionaries and I definitely had that feeling. Sure enough, we went up to the counter he said, "Where are you from, Idaho or Utah?" I was slightly taken off guard because I really was from Idaho but we laughed and I said Idaho. He gave us the look that said "Ha! I knew it!" Anyway, we got our food and decided to sit outside because we felt for whatever reason we should (yes, outside in January, you can do that here in NC). We blessed the food with a prayer as usual and when I opened my eyes I caught the eyes of the man behind the cash register once again. I quickly looked away and we began eating our food. Not long after that, another man came up to us and told us how much he looks up to Mormon Missionaries. He said his name was Doc and thanked us for serving and taking time away from our families. As I shook his hand and over Doc's shoulder I once again caught the eyes of the man behind the cash register through the store window. Not a minute went by before the man came out from behind the counter and came to talk to us. His name was Bill. He told us that he, just like Doc, had a respect for missionaries but wasn't a member. He praised us for serving the Lord and told us about a time when the missionaries taught his family. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out two pieces of plastic. One was a $25 dollar gift card to a pizza place nearby and one was $25 dollars to Walmart, exactly where my companion wanted to buy his camera from. He said "I want you to have these." Shook our hands and left just as quickly and silently as Doc did. Without saying but a few words after he left we both bowed our heads and prayed a prayer of thanks to God. He now had just enough money to buy the camera he wanted from Walmart and pay for the bike repair. My companions prayer was answered by and angel disguised as the man behind the cash register.

The Young Little Kite

The Young Little Kite

As the young little kite began his first flight

the breeze blew softly until the string was tight

Gently he was lifted just a few feet more

"Surely, I'm higher than I've ever been before."

Soon a wind replaced the soft breeze

Until the young little kite was above all the trees.

His very first glide had turned to a soar.

"Surely, I'm higher than I've ever been before."

The winds sped up and the clouds turned grey

He was beaten and tossed in every which way.

And all he could feel was the string's tension pulling down

So he let go of his string and soon crashed to the ground.

The poor little kite was lying broken in the dirt

When the Master picked him up and wrapped him up in his shirt.

He cradled him tight as he took the kite in.

Then fixed every hole and glued every limb.

The kite was now fixed and felt good as new.

As the breeze came alive he began flight two.

Little did he know was that the string "pulling down,"

Was the only sole thing keeping him off of the ground.

Soon the wind replaced the soft breeze

Until the young little kite was above all the trees.

Once again, his glide turned to a soar.

"Surely, I'm higher than I've ever been before."

There is always somebody who is there for us. God has surrounded us with people and things that he knows will help us. They can be in the forms of friends, family, church members, and even strangers. A lot of times when we hit trials in our lives the easy thing to do is to let go of all our support and think we can do it ourselves. Just like this kite we need to hold on to the things that make us happy, especially when the storms get rough. I know that when we crash down that there is always a way to get back up!

Someone to Lean On

This week's blog post will be short and sweet.

Be near me, Lord Jesus; I ask thee to stay

Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.

Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,

And fit us for heaven to live with thee there.

One of the best parts about the Christmas season for me is definitely the Christmas songs that are so familiar to all of us. Usually, they just remind me of fond memories of past Christmas seasons but the verse to "Away in a Manger" was particularly touching to me the other day. It hit me when we were singing it at a fireside. Sitting beside me was a rather large man we have been teaching for about a month now. As he sung the verse with his low, grumbling voice I could nearly feel the the ground shake beneath my feet. What's more than that was that I could feel his spirit. The words touched me "I ask thee to stay close by me forever, love me, I pray."

We all need help, no matter how much we think we can take everything on head on. Let's face it, this world we live in is full of pain and heartache. I really have come to find out, that is why God gave us families and friends. We need that support sometimes to get through the rough patches. What's more is that God gave his Son for us. When life gets hard we can lean on Him. 

The lesson I learned from our friend at the fireside is that we all got struggles that, to us, are extremely hard. To others on the outside it may not seem like they are that big of deal but they are big. We simply cannot do it alone.